Funny SMS Double meaning

1. He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!
2. Love the way it rubs against the soft, pink flesh and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up n'down. Cant wait 4 next tim; I LOVE MY TOOTHBRUSH
3. Last nite i wantd u,i neded u,it really hurt!I wantd to taste u,i wantd u in me so u cud work ur powers on me but i cudnt find u!where were u?u stupidPARCETAMOL
4. Last nite i went 2 bed without u...cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin...where were u lastnite, my lovely pyjamas.
5. At first a little nibble, a slow and tempting lick, I suck and munch my liquid lunch and then I swallow quick! Cadburys cream egg, how do you eat yours?