Sardar

Boss: Where were you born?

Sardar: India ..

Boss: which part?

Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.

Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.

Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar: What is the name of your car?

Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.

Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.

Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.

Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!

Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Sardar: U cheated me.

Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.

Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:

In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?

Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....

Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.

Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?

Sardar: An old king's skeleton.

Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?

Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

Vaseline vs Glue

It seems that a young couple had just gotten married and spent their first wedding night with the young man’s parents. In the morning, his mother got up and prepared a lovely breakfast including freshly cut flowers from her garden and gourmet food.

She went to the bottom the stairs and called everyone to come down to breakfast. Everyone came down, except the newlyweds. After a long wait, the family ate without them.

The mother said, “I wonder why they never came down to eat?”
The groom‘s young brother said , “Mommy , I think . ..“
“Oh, shut up. I don’t want to hear what you think!” said the mother, not wanting to hear any inappropriate comments from the eight-year-old.

At lunch time, the mother again prepared a wonderful spread and again called the young couple to eat. Five minutes went by an she called again. After another long wait, the family proceeded to eat. As she was cleaning the table, mother once again said, ‘I wonder why they never came down to eat? Once again, the younger brother’ started to speak, but mother immediately shut him up.

At dinner the same thing happened. After the meal, mother once again questioned why they had not come down to eat all day. The young lady once again said, “Mommy I think. . . ““Well, what is it that you think?” asked the mother rather testily. .

“I think that when my big brother came down to get the Vaseline last night, he got my model airplane glue instead!

BeaTifuLL MatH...

Let me share w/ you . . . this is

amazing!

Beauty of Math!

1 x 8 + 1 = 9

12 x 8 + 2 = 98

123 x 8 + 3 = 987

1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876

12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765

123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654

1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543

12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432

123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

1 x 9 + 2 = 11

12 x 9 + 3 = 111

123 x 9 + 4 = 1111

1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111

12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111

123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111

1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111

12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111

123456789 x 9 +10= 1111111111

9 x 9 + 7 = 88

98 x 9 + 6 = 888

987 x 9 + 5 = 8888

9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888

98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888

987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888

9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888

98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

Brilliant, isn't it?

And look at this symmetry:

1 x 1 = 1

11 x 11 = 121

111 x 111 = 12321

1111 x 1111 = 1234321

11111 x 11111 = 123454321

111111 x 111111 = 12345654321

1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321

11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321

111111111 x 111111111=123456789 87654321

Now, take a look at this...

101%

From a strictly mathematical viewpoint:

What Equals 100%? What does it mean to

give MORE than 100%?

Ever wonder about those people who say

they are giving more than 100%?

We have all been in situations where

someone wants you to GIVE OVER 100%.

How about ACHIEVING 101%?

What equals 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula

that might help answer these questions:

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T

U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16

17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

If:

H-A-R-D-W-O- R- K

8+1+18+4+23+ 15+18+11 = 98%

And:

K-N-O-W-L-E- D-G-E

11+14+15+23+ 12+5+4+7+ 5 = 96%

But:

A-T-T-I-T-U- D-E

1+20+20+9+20+ 21+4+5 = 100%

THEN, look how far the love of God will

take you:

L-O-V-E-O-F- G-O-D

12+15+22+5+15+ 6+7+15+4 = 101%!!!

Tenjewberrymuds

Room Service: "Morrin. - Roon sirbees."

Guest: "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service. "

RS: " Rye .. Roon sirbees .. morrin! Jewish to odder sunteen?"

G: "Uh..yes. I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What?"

RS: "Ow July den? ... pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes. July sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes?"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!....Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No ... just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad! ?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy ... tea ... meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin w bodder on sigh and copy .... rye?"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds. "

The Chinese With One Testicle

There once was an Chinese who had only one testicle and whose given name was 'Onestone'.

He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said,' If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!' The word got around and nobody called him that any more.

Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, 'Good morning, Onestone.' He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.

The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until A woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away. Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, 'Good to see you, Onestone.'

Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird wouldn't die!




Why ???



OH, come on... take a guess !!!




Think about it !!!

You're going to love this !!!





Everyone knows...
You can't kill Two Birds
with OneStone !!

Please take test to check how stress are u....

The Banana Test



There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals.
King Kong, an Ape, an Orangutan and a Monkey pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.
Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.
Think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds



Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.


































If your answer is:

Orangutan = you're sick

Ape = you need a break

Monkey = worse, you suppose to be in the hospital right now..

King Kong = I think you better take 1 year leave..
.......


Why?! ????















.......




A Coconut tree doesn't have bananas!

Obviously you're stressed and overworked.
Take some time off and relax!

A Blue One

Wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her husband.
"Buy me a surprise for my birthday!" she said. "Something that
accelerates from 0 to 100 in under 4 seconds! And I would prefer a blue one!"


Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday.



And finally she got the beautiful present her husband thoughtfully bought....













...... Apparently he's dead now ....but he died a legend!!!