Funny sms Absurd

1. Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside …
2. NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME
3. Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
4. I'd ride u sitting, I'd ride u lying. If u were a bird I'd ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten I'll dig u up and ride u rotten.
5. DO NOT PRESS ANY KEY This is: -Virus- Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Hehe! NERVOUS?
6. Feeling stoned? feeling high? Fuck a duck and try to fly.
7. Don't drink water.… Fish fuck in it!
8. Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
9. I don't love. I don't care. I just married a millionair. And if he dies I don't cry, I just fuck another guy.
10. Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
11. Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't…
12. Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Shut up, Albert…
13. How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
14. The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX. Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.
15. We will now upgrade your brain, please wait............ Searching............ Searching......... still searching.............. sorry NO BRAIN found ! ! !
16. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly I realized that I was talking to myself
17. Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!
18. *Newsflash*The FA have just announced garly gliter the next England Coach.The appontment collapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's
19. How do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!
20. Please turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H
21. This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you
22. *NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 1000 tampons for £1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !
23. Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantlt full of shit!
24. This mgs can only b read by a MEN: Try again.. Nothing? i guess ur just not masculine enough....HEY don't push it poof
25. This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!
26. On D Planet Rite Now 10,000,000 Indians r Aplyin 4 A Visa.. 10,000,000 Indians R Doin Fraud.. 1,000,000 R Drivin Taxis.. & 1 Dumb Indian Is Readin This Message!!
27. At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91m at a party and one sad fucker is reading his msg (Tip: If you recive this message send message NR. 29 Back)
28. Few minuets back 5m were having sex 2 million were in gun fights 91m having party and one crazy fucker had time to send me an fucking text msg.
29. This cat,is cat,a cat,good cat,way cat,to cat,keep cat,an cat,idiot cat,busy cat,for cat,20 cat,seconds cat!...Now read it without the word cat.
30. Yes, God made you first,but there's always a rough draft before the final copy.
31. Death is the greatest kick of all.That's why they save it for last!
32. Hello to the owner of the cell-phone with no.+44........Your sim-card is been cracked open by Hacker's,and will destroy your phone within 24 hours,from NOW
33. A-Ur Attractive B-Ur Beautiful C-Ur Charming D-Ur Delicious E-Ur Exciting F-Ur Funny G-Ur Gorgeous H-Ur Heavenly I-Im J-Just K-Kidding L-Loser
34. This cat is dog an dog easy cat way cat to keep a dog cat battyhole dog like cat you dog occupied...now throw the pets out and read it again...
35. Men R Like A Pack Of Cards, U Need a ''HEART'' To Love Them, A ''DIAMOND'' To Marry Them, A ''CLUB'' To Batter Them, And A ''SPADE'' To Bury The Bastards!!
36. Vodafone regrets to inform you that the network has gone down on everyone expect you. We regret to inform you that nothing would go down on you, not even a network!
37. mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? the mirror smiled and gave a grunt, and said not you, you ugly cunt!
38. i am a farmer who lives in a bog, i'm widely known for the size of my knob, 2 big for women, so non can i keep, but its just the right size for shaggin me sheep!!