Funny SMS Riddles

1. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
2. Nok nok.Who's there?....Marie!....Marie who?.....Mariewhowanna....!!
3. The jogger who overslept found himself running late.
4. The more you study. Tthe more you know. The more you know. The more you forget. The more you forget. The less you know. So why study?
5. Everything in life is relative, ask Einstein.
6. If my right leg was thanksgiving and my left leg was christmas, would you visit me between the holidays?
7. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
8. How do frogs die ? They Ker-mit suicide.
9. Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let her sleep.
10. How women think about sex:At 8 ignore it,Age 18 experience it,Age 28 look 4 it,Age 38 ask 4 it,Age 48 beg 4 it,Age 58 pay 4 it,Age 68 pray it,Age 78 4get it
11. If all the boys lived on the other side of the sea, what a good swimmer I would be ?
12. I Wanted To Change The World, But God Wouldn't Give Me The Source Code

Funny SMS Quotes

1.To do ist to be (Socrates). To be is to do (Plato). Do be do be do (Sinatra)
2. It's the one who won't be taken, who can not seem to give.
3. It's the soul afraid of dying ... That never learns to live
4. It's the dream afraid of waking, that never takes the change.
5. It's the heart afraid of breaking ... that never learns to dance.
6. Boys say it's great, boys say it's fine. 9 months later they say it's not mine !
7. Action without vision is only passing time, vision without action is merely day dreaming, but vision with action can change the world - Nelson Mandela
8. Death is the greatest kick of all. That's why they save it for last!
9. Don't drink and drive home!! Take a joint and fly home
10. Home is where the heart is born, lives and dies but still goes on !
11. Stoners live and stoners die, but in the end we all get high. So if at first you don't succeed, fuck this world and smoke some weed.
12. If you really wanna get stoned, drink wet cement.
13. Shit happens, life goes on!
14. Free your mind the rest will follow.
15. Work sucks ... Ladies go to work.
16. A beginning is a very delicate time.
17. Life is what happens when you plan to do other things - John Lennon
18. Life would be a lot easier if I had the source-code.
19. Reality is for people who can't face science fiction.
20. Learn from the mistakes of others... you can't live long enough to make them all yourselves!!
21. Life is like toilet paper, long and usefull !!!!
22. On the toilet: Some people come here to sit and wonder, I come here to shit like thunder!
23. We picture the World to ourselves -Ludwig Wittgenstein
24. If you can dream it, you can do it - Walt Disney
25. are you gonna bark all day little doggy? or are you gonna bite?
26. No Mystery Is Closed To An Open Mind
27. This is the world of Magic, where u can create ur own fairytales

Funny SMS Love

1. Of all the friends I've ever met. Your the one I won't forget. And if I die before you do, I'll go to heaven and wait for you.
2. When the night comes, look at the sky. If you see a falling star, don't wonder why, just make a wish. Trust me, it will come true, because I did it and I found you.
3. Words however special... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart. xXx
4. I feel something in my heart, it's like a little flame, every time I see you, this flame lights up, this flame is special for you, because I LOVE YOU!.…
5. Love under the stars... they seem very far, but you are so close the star I love the most.
6.Somewhere, some1 dreams of your smile & finds your presence in life so worthwhile. So when your lonely, remember its true that some1, somewhere, is thinking of u.
7. Theres a warmth in my heart. It haunts me when you're gone. Mend me to your side and never let go. The more I live The more I know, what's simple is true, I love U.
8. Falling in love is when she falls asleep in your arms and wakes up in your dreams !
9. My love, words however special ... could never even start, to tell you all the love I have for you within my heart!!!
10. The day that I'll die, when death replaces birth, I'll recognize angels' faces, because I live with one on earth.
11. Loving you could take my life, but when I look into your eyes, I know you're worth that sacrafice!
12. Heaven is the place where I would be, the day you would stop loving me!
13. I miss you ... I need you ... More and more .... each day ... I love you ... more than words ... can ever say.
14. If a big fat man creeps into your bedroom one night and stuffs you into a bag, Then do not worry 'cause I told Santa I wanted you for christmas!
15. The hardest thing in life is watching someone you love , loving someone else.
16. Love is hard and will always be, but remember somebody loves you and that one is ME !
17. Don't love 1, don't love 2, but love the 1 who loves you.
18. The words are easy when the language is LOVE !
19. There is somebody in the world. Diferent from the rest. The sweetest person I know. That is why I love you so.
20.You showed me how it is to be loved. Now i know what really love is. 1 day we will be together forever. I can't wait to hold you in my arms again.
21. I love three things: the sun, the moon and you, the sun for the day, the moon for the night and you forever.
22. I love the 'y'
Ilove the 'u'
Ilove the 'o'
put them together
and Ilove 'you'
23. For the world you are somebody, but for somebody, you are the world! Lots of love, Somebody.
24. The first time we kissed, I closed my eyes, He closed his eyes, and then....… WE MISSED!
25. Sometimes words are hard to find, to form that perfect line to let you know you're always on my mind!
26. Where ever you're going, I'm going your way !
27. Ferrari's are red, Lambo's are blue... but I am as happy in a mini with you.
28. For there is a certain someone who makes the grey sky blue, I'm glad to say that one is you.
29. I don't wanna feel the way that I do, I just wanna be right here with you, I don't wanna see, see us apart, I just wanna say straight from my heart I miss you
30. If you're the desert, I'd be the sea. If you hunger then hunger for me. Everything you ask I'll be. It's all good as long it's you I see.
31. You can fall from a bridge, you can fall from above, but the best way of falling, is falling in love!
32. If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.
33. Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you.
34. The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart burn like hell !
35. God in heaven... god above,plz protect the 1 i luv sent with a smile and sealed with a kiss... i luv the 1 who's readin this...
36. If I send u a txt, I can play with ur thoughts non-stop If I give u a call, I can play with ur mind non-stop If I were to meet u, id play with ur body non-stop.
37. 4give my eyes 4 admiring u. u stole my heart the moment I saw u call me crazy, call me insane each time my heart beats it mentions ur name.
38. Seeking luv is a mission... finding luv is a complexed ambition... so y not go wiv the asian tradition, and let the parentz make the decision...
39. Last night I asked my angel to watch over you...but he came back soon.I asked:"Why?"He smiled and said:"An angel doesn't watch over another angel...."
40. ();;;;Many People ) /Will Walk In & ( /Out Of Ur Life, But Only True Friends Will Leave Foot Prints In Your Heart.....U Left Ur's In Mine ! -xXx-
41. I lost my rubber duckie.Would you bath with me instead!!!
42. if a kiss was a rain drop is send you showers if a hug was a second id send you hours if a smile was water id send you a sea if you ever get lonly id send you me
43. if your asking if id hurt you the answer is never if your asking if i love you the answer is forever if your asking if i want you the answer is i do if your asking who i luv the most the anwer is you
44. .Love is like a bird, if you hold it tightly it dies, if you hold it slightly it flies, better take good care of it
45. Why am I so lonley if you are always in my dreams

Funny SMS Jokes

1. When the apple is green and ready to pluck. When a girl is sixteen she's ready to fuck!
2. The 3 wonders of a woman 1*give milk without eating grass 2*get wet without water 3*bleed for a week without going 2 die
3. No Boys! No Boys, no Sex. No Sex, no Kids. No Kids, no School. No School, no problems! Why Boys??
4. After the party - mum, I am not drunk, I can lay on the flour without holding on
5. A girl phoned me the other day and said...Come on over, there is nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home
6. I love you in the mornig, I love you in the evening, but most of all, I love you when you are leaving
7. NEWS FLASH snow white has been thrown out disneyland. she pulled up her skirt, sat on pinnochios face & shouted lie u bastard, lie, lie!
8. What's the difference between your job and your wife? Your job still sucks after five years!
9. If you want SEX take a boy and RELAX but don't forget DUREX!!!
10. If you think fuck is funny fuck yourself and save the money
11. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
12. When I was a dog, and you were a flower, I walked over you and gave you a shower!!
13. Computers are machines to help you solve problems you wouldn't have if you didn't have a computer.
14. The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think
15. If you have no voice: SCREAM...... If you have no legs: RUN......... If you have no hope: INVENT…
16. When I was a baby, I played with toys. Now I'm a lady and I play with boys!!
17. Man: I would really like to get into your pants. Woman: No thanks. There's already one asshole in there.
18. A man was dying of cancer. His son asked him:dad why do you keepon telling everyone that your dying of AIDS.He replied"So that when i die no 1 will fuck ur mom
19. Kill one you're a murderer, kill 10 you're a serial murderer, kill them all, you're GOD.
20. The first day we met,I wanted you in my bed. Today I know better, so I will write it in my letter. In my bed I've seen so many faces, so I'll fuck you at different places.
21. Text messaging is like a blow-job off an amateur prostitute; short...sweet and always cheap!!!
22. Love your neighbour, but don't get caught.
23. Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
24. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly I realized that I was talking to myself
25. What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs? Some traffic signs say stop
26. A woman is like a kentuckey fried chicken, it has legs ,breasts and a greasy box to stick your bone in.
27. 3 tampaxes walking down the road-regular,maxi and ultra.which 1 says hello first? none of them thay r all stuck up CUNTS!!!
28. When things go wrong; and when sadness fill ur heart; and when tears flow in your eyes, just let me know coz i want to b there for you. I'm Selling tissues
29. Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
30. Latest porn releases:,shaving private ryan,position impossible,as big as it gets,forest hump,riding miss daisy,starwhores,cliffhanger and pornocchio
31. A banana and a vibrator were sittin on a bedside table- the banana turns to the vibrator and says i dont know what ur shakin 4 shes gonna fuckin eat me!!!

Funny SMS Friends ;-)

1. I am a killer, I kill people for money. But because you are my friend, I'll kill you for nothing!
2. We will now upgrade your brain, please wait............ Searching............ Searching......... still searching.............. sorry NO BRAIN found ! ! !
3. U got style, u got sex-appeal, u got the intelligence and u sure got the body. Wait. Sorry, wrong number!
4. Friends are just like stars. You don't always see them, but you now they are there for you. Your friend
5. A ring is round and has no end, that's how long I'll be your friend!!!
6. The morning is just a few moments away. Go to sleep and when you wake up, remember me as a friend who is allways there for you and never let you down
7. Hello too the owner of the cell-phone with no.+316........Your sim-card is been cracked open by Hacker's,and will destroy your phone within 24 hours,from NOW!
8. Yes, God made you first, but there is always a rough draft before the final copy.
9. The NHS regrets to inform you that your birth was an accident. Please report to your nearest hospital to be put down. We apologise for any inconvenience.
10. This sms can only be readed by someone SEXY:...try again...again...maybe you are just not sexy?...one more time...hey don't force it ugly!!!
11. Secrets, they only last long enough to break you down.
12. Life isn't easy it will never be .... Remember you got friends one of them is me
13. Wherever you go, whatever you do, may god's angels watch over you.
14. Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver the other gold.
15. When darkness moves in on me, it is the love of people like you that allows me to go through defeat and still know to be fully accepted.
16. Don't feel sad, don't feel blue, Frankenstein was ugly too!
17. I must have been born under a lucky star , to find a friend as nice as you are. I will follow the rainbow to the end , if you promise to remain my friend !!!
18. Roses are red violines are bleu, a face like yours belongs to the zoo.
19. Roses are red, violets are blue, Frankenstein is ugly, but what the hell happend to you?
20. Braindetector activated, calibrating, now searching.........still searching......get a good grip of your gsm....still searching.......no brain found.
21. Umm...your .... ZIP is open...
22. I'm not as dumb as you look.
23. If I can be of any help, you're in worse trouble than I thought.
24. What do I miss about my wife? Her absence.
25. This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat, 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
26. Hi, I am an alien and I'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook..Searching..Searching..Searching..Sorry,no chicks found! Gay?
Conclusion: You Are Gay!
27. If you are in trouble, If you need a hand, Just call my number, because I'm your friend!
28. There is: Hot-Sex, Fast-Sex, Cuddle-Sex, Safe-Sex, Group-Sex, SM-Sex, Telephone-Sex, Cyber-Sex, and for people like you: NO SEX.
29. A-Ur Attractive B-Ur Beautiful C-Ur Charming D-Ur Delicious E-Ur Exciting F-Ur Funny G-Ur Gorgeous H-Ur Heavenly I-Im J-Just K-Kidding L-Loser
30. Who Wants 2 B A £MILLIONAIRE£ Let's play? Q.Nobody likes u cos u r a: A.Cunt B.Wanka C.Rsole D.Twat 50/50 Phone a friend? RING ME! I'LL TELL U!
31. Psst! Cutie... ..yes YOU! Ur smiling again Its coz i told u dat ur CUTE hey...... Sometimes we need 2 lie Just to make some one SMILE!
32. .....Friends r like stars....you do not ALWAYS SEE them but you know they r always there. "Just like you"
33. Close ur eyes and make a wish Angelz will b there to blow u a kiss They'll guide u and make all ur dreams come true Just like they did for me wen I asked for a frend like u
34. Remember when you need a fuck, I will always be here 4U, because FUCKstands for "Friendship U Can Keep".So promise me we will FUCK forever *_*
35. An American psychology survey recent;y stated that if you are sexually inexperienced and not food in bed, you will be holding this phone with your right hand
36. Friendship is like peeing in your pants... Everyone can see it but only you can see the true warmth of it! Thank you for being the pee in my pants!
37. Im at the Police Station. Police caught me & filed a case against me. "POSSESSION OF GOOD LOOKS" I'm doomed! NEED SOMEONE UGLY 2 BAIL ME OUT; So HURRY UP!

Funny SMS Flirt

1. Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends, charming, funny, well...Enough about ME! How about you?
2. If I could rearrange the alphabet, Id put U and I together.
3. What is live ? Live is love. Whats love ? Love is kissing. Whats kissing ? Come here and I show you.
4. Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ?
5. Love is Sweet, Love is sad, but with me in bed Love is the best thing you ever had.
6.You got the style. You got the intelligence and you sure got the body!
7. Are you a mum? I am not a dad! Maybe you could help me with that!
8. If you would see yourself the way I do, you would wish you where as beautiful as you ...
9. The moment I first saw you, you warmed my heart, the second time you made little flames and now you make my heart burn like hell !
10. Are you free for the rest of your life?
11. I know milk it does a body good, but DAMN how much have you been drinking?
12. Hello, I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart!
13. Your daddy must be a terrorist because you are DA BOMB!
14. Do you believe in love at first sight, or do I have to walk by again?
15. It must have been a rainy day when you were born..Heaven was crying 'cus it lost its most beautiful angel!
16. I must have been born under a lucky star, to find a friend as nice as you are, and I will follow the rainbow until the end, if you promis forever to be my friend!
17. If love is a crime, lock me up, i'm guilty baby
18. In my dreams you're mine, in my life you're a dream.
19. Girls are like internet domain names... the ones I like are already taken.
20. God created the world in SIX days But took him centuries... to come up with someone...as "HOT" ... as "SEXY" ... as "Fuckable" ... *..As "YOU!" .. *
21. Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...
22. Oh right then! Straight to the point! I want you right here, right now!
23. 4give my eyes 4 admiring u. u stole my heart the moment I saw u call me crazy, call me insane each time my heart beats it mentions ur name.
24. Last night I asked my angel to watch over you...but he came back soon.I asked:"Why?"He smiled and said:"An angel doesn't watch over another angel...."
25. God made butter, God made cheese, GOd made u 4 me 2 please, God made whiskey, God made Pepsi but wen God made u..... he sure made u sexy.
26. I hereby place u under arrest 4 vialating code 0567 distracting public with ur good looks and sexy ass so please remain silent and report to my bedroom
27. I lost my rubber duckie.Would you bath with me instead!!!
28. if a kiss was a rain drop is send you showers if a hug was a second id send you hours if a smile was water id send you a sea if you ever get lonly id send you me
29. if your asking if id hurt you the answer is never if your asking if i love you the answer is forever if your asking if i want you the answer is i do if your asking who i luv the most the anwer is you
30. @}--}}-- Its a e-rose. For you ....
31. Loading the Babe meter.....

5%


17%


26%


57%


78%


99%


100% COMPLETE


Processing data..


ANALYSIS COMPLETE


U R A 100%
Gorgeous Babe xxx

Funny SMS Double meaning

1. He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, but don't worry: I'm a bottle of wine!
2. Love the way it rubs against the soft, pink flesh and creates a creamy foamy liquid as it thrusts in and out, up n'down. Cant wait 4 next tim; I LOVE MY TOOTHBRUSH
3. Last nite i wantd u,i neded u,it really hurt!I wantd to taste u,i wantd u in me so u cud work ur powers on me but i cudnt find u!where were u?u stupidPARCETAMOL
4. Last nite i went 2 bed without u...cold,naked,thinking of u, missing ur warmth, ur soft touch against my skin...where were u lastnite, my lovely pyjamas.
5. At first a little nibble, a slow and tempting lick, I suck and munch my liquid lunch and then I swallow quick! Cadburys cream egg, how do you eat yours?

Funny sms Absurd

1. Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside …
2. NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME
3. Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
4. I'd ride u sitting, I'd ride u lying. If u were a bird I'd ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten I'll dig u up and ride u rotten.
5. DO NOT PRESS ANY KEY This is: -Virus- Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Hehe! NERVOUS?
6. Feeling stoned? feeling high? Fuck a duck and try to fly.
7. Don't drink water.… Fish fuck in it!
8. Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
9. I don't love. I don't care. I just married a millionair. And if he dies I don't cry, I just fuck another guy.
10. Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
11. Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't…
12. Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Shut up, Albert…
13. How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
14. The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX. Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.
15. We will now upgrade your brain, please wait............ Searching............ Searching......... still searching.............. sorry NO BRAIN found ! ! !
16. When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and suddenly I realized that I was talking to myself
17. Hi i'm an alien i'm checking for some chicks in your phonebook searching..... searching..... searching..... sorry no chicks found. conclusion, your are gay!
18. *Newsflash*The FA have just announced garly gliter the next England Coach.The appontment collapsed after he tried to put seaman in the under 15's
19. How do you keep an idiot in suspense ??? ............. ............ ...tell you later !!!
20. Please turn your mobile phone upside down now!!! Hurry 370HSSV 0773H
21. This is your mobile operator and we just found out you are too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it . Thank you
22. *NEWSFLASH* Tell ALL your female friends that i can get 1000 tampons for £1, No Strings attached but for a limited period ONLY! Its A bloody good deal !
23. Y MEN R LIKE TOILETS 1)dey r always out of order 2)dey stink 3)the nice ones r always engaged 4)dey consume large amounts of liquid 5)r constantlt full of shit!
24. This mgs can only b read by a MEN: Try again.. Nothing? i guess ur just not masculine enough....HEY don't push it poof
25. This sms can only be read by a SEXY person: Try again...... Nothing? Sorry, i guess your just not SEXY..HEY! dont force it, ugly git!!
26. On D Planet Rite Now 10,000,000 Indians r Aplyin 4 A Visa.. 10,000,000 Indians R Doin Fraud.. 1,000,000 R Drivin Taxis.. & 1 Dumb Indian Is Readin This Message!!
27. At this moment 5 million are having sex 2 million are in gun fights 91m at a party and one sad fucker is reading his msg (Tip: If you recive this message send message NR. 29 Back)
28. Few minuets back 5m were having sex 2 million were in gun fights 91m having party and one crazy fucker had time to send me an fucking text msg.
29. This cat,is cat,a cat,good cat,way cat,to cat,keep cat,an cat,idiot cat,busy cat,for cat,20 cat,seconds cat!...Now read it without the word cat.
30. Yes, God made you first,but there's always a rough draft before the final copy.
31. Death is the greatest kick of all.That's why they save it for last!
32. Hello to the owner of the cell-phone with no.+44........Your sim-card is been cracked open by Hacker's,and will destroy your phone within 24 hours,from NOW
33. A-Ur Attractive B-Ur Beautiful C-Ur Charming D-Ur Delicious E-Ur Exciting F-Ur Funny G-Ur Gorgeous H-Ur Heavenly I-Im J-Just K-Kidding L-Loser
34. This cat is dog an dog easy cat way cat to keep a dog cat battyhole dog like cat you dog occupied...now throw the pets out and read it again...
35. Men R Like A Pack Of Cards, U Need a ''HEART'' To Love Them, A ''DIAMOND'' To Marry Them, A ''CLUB'' To Batter Them, And A ''SPADE'' To Bury The Bastards!!
36. Vodafone regrets to inform you that the network has gone down on everyone expect you. We regret to inform you that nothing would go down on you, not even a network!
37. mirror mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all? the mirror smiled and gave a grunt, and said not you, you ugly cunt!
38. i am a farmer who lives in a bog, i'm widely known for the size of my knob, 2 big for women, so non can i keep, but its just the right size for shaggin me sheep!!

Funny sms sex

1. If you want a little brother, kick your dad and fuck your mother.
2. Hi, I am an alien and I've just transformed into your phone and right now I'm having sex with your finger. I know you like it, because you're smiling now!!
3. Mean people suck, Nice people swallow! !
4. A peach is a peach, A plum is a plum, A kiss ain't a kiss, without some tounge. So open up your mouth, and close your eyes, and give your tounge Some exercise!
5. CONFICIUS SAY: BOY WHO GO TO SLEEP WITH STIFF PROBLEM WAKE UP WITH SOLUTION IN HAND.
6. Love is a name, Sex is a game. Forget the name and play the game!
7. Humpty Dumpty fucked a fat whore, Humpty Dumpty blew on the floor. All the kings horses & all the kings men, laid the slut down & fucked her again!
8. Sex is good, sex is fine, doggy style or 69, just for fun or getting paid everyone loves getting laid.u'll get laid.
9. Kiss me and you will see stars; Love me and I will give them to you.
10. A guy walks up to a girl and says: Wanna play magic? She asks: What do you mean? He says: We go to my place, have sex and than you disappear!
11. BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelieveble sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasm again!
12. Roses are red, Pickles are green. I love your legs and whats in between.
13. I like your style. I like your class, but most of all i like your ass.
14. Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people) like NIKE (just do it) like PEPSI (ask for more) like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..
15. I love you in blue. I love you in red but most of all. I love you in bed.
16. How does a vagina look before sex? Like a lovely pink rose! And after sex? Ever seen a Bulldog eating Mayonaise?
17. Sex is a sensation. It's about a man's temptation, putting his location in a woman's destination. Do you understand the explanation or do you need a demonstration?
18. Sex is like pizza. When its good, its VERY GOOD. When its bad, its Still pretty good
19. Sorry, the fuckmachine is out of order, so fuck yourself and save a quarter.
20. Fuck is good. Fuck is funny. Lots of people. Fuck for money. If you think that. Fuck is funny. Fuck yourself and save your money!
21. Sex is like Math, Add the Bed, Subtract the Clothes, Divide the Legs and Multiply!
22. I want you to ride me like a pony! Hiyaaaaaa…
23. Don't be silly, put a condom on your willy.
24. This program will automatically enlarge your penis. Now starting...beep 6 5 4 3.....beep 2 1....Sorry no penis found!
25. Do you want to have sex with me? For $50! Please please please....I really need the money!
26. Sex is good,sex is funny, all the people fuck for money! If you think love is funny, fuck yourself and safe the money!
27. Sex is like Nike, just do it.
28. Masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with someone I love...
29. Programming is like sex: One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
30. If you don't like oral sex than keep your mouth shut!!
31. Press down......down more......ok......more......yes......ahh.......yes......almost there......yeah......oh shit......harder......so good! Yeah, that's textual intercourse!
32. Sex is the game, Love is a name, Forget the name ...... Lets PLAY the game
33. I want you right, right now, why don't you come on over and let's do now!
34. This time im sure about wat i feel & im gonna say it, i i l i lo i lov i love i love y i love yo i love young girls with Shaven Pussys!
35. Jack & Jill went 2 the dairy, Jack popped out his big'n airy, Jill said "WOW WOT A WHOPPER let's go home & DO IT PROPER
35. There was a young girl called heather,whos cunt lips were made of leather they made a strange noise that attracted the boys by flapping the edges together.
36. A mans ocupation is to stick his cockulation up a wommens ventulation to increase the population of the younger generation if u want a demonstation plz lie down!
37. Oral sex can b so fine,wen u do a 69,u start 2 shake,moan & quiver,den u cum just like a river,den u lick it up in vain,wipe ur lips and start again!
38. Peter, Peter, Pumpkin eater,had a wife & liked to beat her,smacked her twice around da head, F**ked her arse & went 2 bed!
39. Hickory, dickory, dock,dis bitch woz suckin me cock,da clock struck 2,i dumped me goo,& dropped her at da end of da block!
40. Roses are red, voilets are corny, when i think of you babes it makes me so HORNY!!!
41. Mary Mary, quite contrary, trim that pussy its too damn hairy!!!
42. A man woz arranged 2 b married!He had a choice of 3 women!1st woz a rich docter,2nd woz a poor cleaner & 3rd woz a prostitute!WHO DID HE PICK?The 1 wiv big tits!
43. Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur wall? A)walnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chest? A)chestnuts Q)wot do u get wiv nuts on ur chin? A)a mouth full of cock!
44. Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and it's gone forever!
45. LETS PLAY WAR!! You lay down and i'll blow the shit out of you!
46. Zippy & Bungle,went 2 da jungle havin sum marvelous fun, Zippy got silly,popped out his willy & stuck it up Bungles bum!
47. Life is like a dick! When it's hard Fuck it!
48. I want triplets, You want twins, Lets get in bed and see who wins!
49. There are 256 bones in your body! Would u like another?
50. Is it d whiskey dat makes u frisky.Is it d brandy dat makes u randy,Is it d gin dat makes u slip in,Is it d rum dat makes u cum
51. D boys say i luv u,U beleve its true,9months l8r he says to hell wiv u,D baby is a bastard,D mother is a whore,Nun of dis wood av happened if d rubber hadnt tore!
52. Beat me eat me bite my bum, whip me strip me make me cum, suck me fuck me and lick me out,then tickle my nipples until I shout!
53. Bak 2 bak,front 2 front,on d table,lick d cunt,stick it in,do ur ting,do it hard & make her sing,tense ur body feel d cum,den let it rip into her bum!
54. Twinkle, twinkle little rectum big cocks cum when you least expect them, never mind the screams of passion whoop it up with doggy fashion.
55. Ive got a tongue that'll blow ur mind let me hit u wid a 69 kiss me, caress me, slowly undress me I may seem defenceless, but baby I can fuck u senseless.
56. Im a little girl i have a little thing when i go 2 bed i put my finger in. now i'm much older my thing has lost its charm now it takes 5 fingers and 1/2 a fuckin arm.
57. Tere waz an old man from Glotham, who took out his balls 2 washem. His motha sed Jak, if u dont putem back, il step on da cunts and squash em
58. Love me tender love me sweet, put your lips around my meat,watch me smile watch me grin, wacht me cum run down yor chin!!
59. It's a hard life being a penis, you have a head with no brain, one eye that's blind, 2 neighbours that are nuts, the others an arsehole & your best mates a cunt
60. If you erase this message u owe me a kiss, if you save this message u owe me sex, if you send this message 2 anyone u owe me both so when do i collect???
61. There was a cat and a rooster sitting by the creek. The cat fell into the water and the rooster laughed. LESSON: For every wet PUSSY, there's a happy COCK!
62. Tips on giving blow jobs: 1. If you do it for lust -SPIT IT 2. If you do it for love-SWALLOW IT 3. But if you wanna show off- GARGLE IT
63. When im dead and in my grave, no more pussy i will crave. And apon my headstone will be seen, here liies the bones of a fucking machine.
64. GOVERNMENT WARNING: Eating pussy is dangerous to your health bcoz its 5% urine, 2% period blood, 1% tampondebris, 2% other guys spoof and 90% fuckn brilliant!!
65. Ive been a muff diver 4many a year.Ive spent all my money on muff divin gear,the goggles,the snorkle the muffdivin tank.If im not out muff divin,im havin a wank
66. Id ride u sitting id ride u lying, if u were a bird id ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten ill dig u up and ride u rotten
67. sex drugs rock & roll, speed weed & birth control , life a bitch & then u die, so fuck the world & lets get high! send this to 5 people or have 7 yrs bad SEX,
68. Im A rincess I Live In The Clouds If You Wanna Kick It Wit Me You Betta Bow Down So Get On You Knees And Call Me Your Highness Cuz baby Believe me im Louisiana's finest!
69. Sing a song of bum sex, an arse full of cum,4&20 fat cocks forced up your bum, wen the orgys over & ur bum begins to sting,wasnt it a bad idea to take it up the ring!!
70. Ur so sexy,ur so fine!u no how 2 blow my mind!rub me down and rub me up,stk ur cock rite up my muff!
71. if the sea was vodka and i was a duck id sink to the bottom and drink my way up but the sea isnt vodka and im not a duck so reply to this message if you fancie a fuck

10 Good Sentence

1. Money doesn’t everything, there are Mastercard and Visa

2. We should love animal, they taste good

3. Don’t waste water, take a bath with your love

4. Behind a successful man there is a great woman, behind an unsuccessful man there are two

5. Love your neighbor, just don’t get caught

6. Wise man not getting married, after married they’ve become worse

7. Love is photogenic, Its need dark place to grow

8. Clothes is a protector, but protector shouldn’t cover beautiful view

9. More we learn more we know, More we know more we forget, more we forget less we know, so why learn??

10. The future depends on your dream, so go to sleep!!!!