Stick and two drunk women

Husband and wife and their nine children are waiting at the bus stop with a blind man, and when the bus arrives they find it's overloaded so only the wife and the nine kids are able to get onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.

After a while, the husband is getting a bit irritated by the ticking of the blind man's stick as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That continuous ticking sound is driving me crazy."

The blind man replied, "If you'd put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd both been on the f****ing bus, and you wouldn't have heard it."

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Two women friends had gone for a girl's night out; both were very faithful and loving wives. However, they had gotten over-enthusiastic on the Bacardi Breezers.

Incredibly drunk & walking home, they needed to pee, so they stopped in the cemetery. One of them had nothing to wipe with so she thought she would take off her panties and use them. Her friend, however, was wearing a rather expensive pair of panties and did not want to ruin them, but was lucky enough to squat down next to a grave that had a wreath with a ribbon on it, so she proceeded to wipe with that.

After the girls did their business, they proceeded to go home.

The next day, one woman's husband was concerned that his normally sweet and innocent wife was still in bed hung over, so he phoned the other husband and said, "These damn girls' night out have got to stop. I'm starting to suspect the worst. My wife came home with no panties."

"You think that's bad" said the other husband, "Mine is lying in bed with a card stuck in her ass that says: "From all of us at the Fire Station. We'll never forget you."